remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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