any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
bring money and cleavage
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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