im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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