Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I want to be your penis for a week.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
