Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
