i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
My ass is underappreciated
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize
