Is it because I queefed?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
