what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Randomize
