just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
