he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize
