1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
