I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
