Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
