I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Randomize
