could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
either way he was missing a nipple.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
