she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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