She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
