How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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