oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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