I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
