If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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