The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
im holly from the hills drunk
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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