I have demons in me.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
