You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
