I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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