I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
