Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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