i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
