His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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