im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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