I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize