Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
