9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
