If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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