Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize
