he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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