she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
