Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
