There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
