grandma shit on top of the toilet
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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