I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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