someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
