I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
