I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
