They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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