What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
