i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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