Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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