I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
