he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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