Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
