i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
