that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
