pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
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