Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
My dick has a subreddit
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
