we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Farmville is her only friend.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
