This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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