have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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