I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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