I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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