I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
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