so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize