i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
