My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize